Here’s why teens are in crisis and how to help

ADOLESCENCE  can be like walking a tight-rope with each step seeming uncertain,  even frightening!

 

Often all the things that have been going on between ages 0-12 years start to manifest at this time.

 

It is a period where parents can offer the best support system to young people going through the teen years.

 

A challenging time it is for both the teenager and the parent with the latter feeling that their authority is being challenged, but the former feels rejected and may see the parent as an enemy.

 

“However, in it all, God is still looking for godly offspring. The adversary makes sure God does not get the offspring He is looking for by trapping our teens, ” pastor Nellie says .

 

She was teaching parents of teenagers on Deliverance for Children  at Homecare Spiritual Fellowship on June 4 2022 in Nairobi, Kenya.

 

Uniquely placed

 

According to pastor Nellie, whose work has involved counselling teens, “all they  need  is someone who is willing to listen (to them) and in a vacuum they  start listening to their peers.”

 

“If the culture of speaking with your child did not start when they were young it will not work when they are teenagers, cultivate it (communication) when they are young,” the pastor says.

 

Parents are  uniquely placed to help their children stay on course and emerge from their teen-age as responsible adults.

Love language

 

Pastor Nellie says parents have a legal right to push into their teenager’s  space to find out what is going on.

“The parent has the responsibility of finding out what they are doing in their rooms, for example,” she says.

 

Teens are easily driven to despair, feel unappreciated, get depressed, self conscious, withdrawn and  build protective walls around them that “keep out love.” They may even get suicidal!

 

“A wise parent with the help of the Holy Spirit helps the teenager separate who they are from what they do-constantly communicating love and value to the child,”  says Pastor Nellie.

 

Parents must find out the teenagers love language and express it, she says.

 

The fear of rejection makes teens succumb to peer pressure with the allure of drugs , alcohol, Illuminati beckoning just around the corner.

 

It is an age of competition and the teen finds himself or herself connecting winning to their personality.

 

Parents have the responsibility of making the  home a safe place for the teenager.

Fantasy world

 

If they feel rejected they retreat into a fantasy world where they are the hero and may have and even talk to imaginary friends.

 

Parents mistakenly respond to teenage crises with authority. They want to take the teenager to rehab, punish with the rod, praying for change, issue threats or chase them away from home.

 

“Some have sent their teenagers to jail to discipline them, others have tried talking to them for hours,” pastor Nellie says.

 

The crises, she says,  manifest in a lack of self-control.

 

Proverbs 25:28  “He that has no rule over his spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.” (NIV).

 

It will also manifest in rebellion and anti-submissiveness.

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