Why God wants your marriage to succeed

CHALLENGES in marriage face both Christians and Non-Christians alike. What will make the difference?


The difference is in the foundation on which each marriage is built.


A marriage founded on God is comparable to the parable in Luke 6:48, “They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.”


Marriages built on “the rock” are grounded in God as the fortress. Psalms 18:2 says “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield] and the horn[] of my salvation, my stronghold.”


In such a marriage, God is the deliverer, God is the refuge, the shield and stronghold.


According to Pastor Nellie, there is a marriage that is built on “the rock” and the difference between the one built on the rock and the one built on sand is known when  “winds” and  “rains” come against it.


Such is the marriage described in Mathew 7 : 24-25.


 Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 


The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 


Institution of marriage


Pastor Nellie says God created the institution of marriage to accomplish His purposes with it.


“ Marriage is about two imperfect people coming together to accomplish a project that God has given to them,” she says.


Here are ten reasons why God wants your marriage to succeed:


1. To demonstrate unity of purpose


Married people are stronger than when they are separate. Couples need to understand God’s purpose for marriage.


Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.


When a couple removes their focus from God’s mission and start to focus on their own circumstances they fail.


Marriage is not about us and our needs  but about God and His purpose. God’s vision is beyond the two.


Couples make a mistake when they think there is something in it for them but not to do with God’s purpose.


Again, marriage does not have to be perfect to fulfil God’s purpose, for example, when Abraham wanted a wife for Isaac He sent a servant Genesis 24:28 “The young woman ran and told her mother’s household about these things.”


It was a match made in heaven. However, that marriage still had problems, there was favouritism, the mother loved Jacob and the father loved Esau, there was deception and lying, intent to murder, (Esau wanted to kill his brother),there was bitterness, but God’s purpose was to create the nation of Israel.


He was not doing it through the marriage which had problems but through Jacob. The marriage was not perfect but accomplished God’s purpose.


2.To demonstrate Holiness


The first marriage on earth was between Adam and Eve but it did not work out according to God’s plan.


A second marriage which also did not work was when God married Israel. Isaiah 54:5For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;   he is called the God of all the earth.”(NIV).


Ezekiel 16 :8 “Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.”(NIV).


This marriage failed because Israel worshipped other gods and  God called it adultery and divorced Israel.

Jeremiah 3:8

 I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery.(NIV)


What then did God do after the divorce?


Israel had defiled its generational blood line however, God was still looking for something in that marriage.


Any affair outside marriage is fornication and adultery.


3.To get Godly offspring


God is looking for a godly offspring through your marriage.


To have a godly society we must produce  godly offspring. Malachi 2:15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.” (NIV).


God is looking for offspring who can change society in all spheres of life- godly teachers, doctors, businessmen, politicians. God is looking for godly offspring from your home. Godly marriages can produce godly offspring.


In the second marriage, God chased away Israel because He could not get the offspring he was looking for.


4. To change society


After the second marriage failed, God did not give up. He came up with a new strategy. God married Christ to the Church and thus, today we have an example of a perfect marriage.


Born- again couples can raise up godly offspring to change society.


When you see a rotten society, you see rotten marriages because children are born out of marriages.


Satan fights marriages because he knows if he wants to ruin a society he must get the children and incase parents are standing in the way he  causes strife between them- and while husband and wife are fighting he is getting the children!


In this respect, believers should not marry a non-believers as that would be two different altars. Deuteronomy 7:3-4  Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons,  for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.(NIV).


To think that you may marry a non-Christian and change them is a lie from Satan. You are not wiser than God.


Samson fell in love with a Philistine woman and that marked his downfall.  Judges 16: 20

Then she called, ‘Samson, the Philistines are upon you!’  He awoke from his sleep and thought I’ll go out as before  and shake myself free.’ But he did nit know that the Lord had left him.” (NIV).


5. To answer prayer


The way we treat our spouse matters. It determines whether our prayers are answered or not. 1 Peter 3:7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (NIV).


Anger and violence is sin before God.


Malachi 2:16  says,”The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”[ says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.” (NIV).


Couples need to deal with anger before they get married. Marriage does not cure anything, you get in with all your unresolved problems.


Many times we do not get answers because the way we are relating in our marriages affects our prayer.


6.To Build godly character


If you have a problem with lust solve it before you get married!


Marriage does not solve sexual immorality, if it did we would not have adultery.


2 Corinthians 12: 20-21 “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged.” (NIV).


Self control must be there before marriage. Marriage is a covenant and God is the witness.


Hebrews 13:4  says , “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”



7. To surrender to the Holy Spirit


In marriage , the  wife must submit. If you cannot submit to the man do not marry him in the first place. Marry only if you know you are going to submit. Ephesians 5:22-23Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”(KJV).


Husbands must love their wives just as Christ loved the church and died for it. If you know you cannot love her this much do not marry her. In marriage we surrender to the Holy spirit to guide us with wisdom.


 8.To engage in Spiritual Warfare


Marriage is not easy. People enter into  marriage not knowing it is a battle. Mathew 19:10The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”


In marriage. are not fighting against your spouse, in fact ,you are coming together on the same side fighting a common enemy. No one wins in marriage,  you both lose or win.


God does not leave us to fight alone. Always call upon God- bring your circumstances to Him.


9. To restore generational foundations


The new marriage founded in Christ is for restoring a cursed generation.


Israel profaned her marriage with God. Judges 2 :10-11

“That whole generation also died, and the next generation forgot the Lord and what He had done for Israel, the people of Israel sinned against the Lord and began to serve the Baals.” (NIV).


Born-again couples with marriages not founded on the idolatrous past can raise godly children to change society-restore foundations, lineages and  generational bloodlines.


Isaiah 58 :12

And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in. (NIV).


10. To rebuke evil spirits


God has given couples a responsibility  to rebuke evil spirits out of their homes. Luke 10:19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” (NIV).


The Bible says in Deuteronomy 32:30, “one man will chase a thousand and two put ten thousand to flight”. Wherever two or more persons come together to pray in the name of Jesus, God is there in their midst.


Spirits to kick out:

  • Witchcraft
  • Suspicion
  • Distrust
  • Anger
  • Lying
  • Deception
  • No fear of God
  • Hardness of heart
  • Unforgiveness
  • Divorce
  • Separation
  • Adultery
  • Violence


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