CHALLENGES in marriage face both Christian couples and non-Christians alike, but what will make or break is the foundation upon which it has been built.
The difference between a marriage that is built on a “rock” and the one built on “sand” will be known when the “winds” and the “rains” which represent the challenges and trials come, Mathew 7: 24 says, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock.
God created the institution of marriage to fulfill His purposes; it is about two imperfect people coming together to finish a project that God has entrusted them with.
Marriage is not about us and our needs, but about God and His purpose. When a couple removes focus from God’s mission and start to center their attention on their own circumstances and interest, things begin to go wrong and they fail.
Many people make a mistake when they think there is something “in it for me” but not to do with God’s purpose fir their marriage.
Marriage does not have to be perfect to fulfil God’s purpose. When Abraham wanted a wife for Isaac he sent out a servant according to Genesis 24:14. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.
This marriage, however, still had problems- there was favouritism; the mother loved Jacob and the father loved Esau, there was deception and lying, intent to murder- when Esau wanted to kill his brother Jacob, there was bitterness, but God’s purpose was to create the nation of Israel out of this marriage!
He was not doing it through the marriage which had problems but through Jacob. The marriage was not perfect but still accomplished God’s purpose.
God’s vision is beyond the two of you in marriage. Here are 9 reasons why God is interested in your marriage and wants it to succeed. Are you helping him?
1. Union– Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
The phrase “two are better than one” means having two people together is more effective than just having one doing it alone. Married people are stronger than when one is alone. They will complement each other and leverage their individual strengths while making up for each other’s weaknesses. Having a partner provides emotional support and makes life enjoyable.
2. Demonstration of Holiness– The first marriage between Adam and Eve did not work. The second one between God and Israel did not work either. When Israel turned away and worshipped other gods He called it adultery.
Isaiah 54:5. For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
Ezekiel 16:8. Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine. This marriage too failed.
Jeremiah 3:8. And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. What did God do after the two failed marriages?
Here we see that Israel had defiled its generational bloodline when God was looking for something in that marriage.
Proverbs 6:32 also states, But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. It means anything outside marriage is fornication and adultery.
3. Godly offspring-Malachi 2:15. Has not the Lord made them one? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
God is looking for a godly offspring through your marriage. To have a godly society we must produce godly offspring.
He is looking for offspring who can change society in all spheres of life- God is looking for godly teachers, doctors, businessmen, politicians. He is looking for godly offspring from your home. A Christian marriage can produce godly offspring. In the second marriage God chased away Israel because He could not get godly offspring.
4. Holy people– Deuteronomy 7:3-4. Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.
After the second marriage failed God did not give up. He married Christ to the church. Today we have a perfect example of a perfect marriage.
Born- again couples can raise up godly offspring to change society. When you see a rotten society you see rotten marriages because children come out of marriages.
Satan fights marriages because he knows if he wants to ruin the society he gets the children first-if the parents are standing in the way he will cause them to strive, fight, separate and divorce -and while they are doing that he is getting the children.
A Christian should not marry a non-Christian- do not be mistaken that you will marry her or him and change them. That is a lie of the devil!
5. Answers to prayer–1 Peter 3:7. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
The way we treat our spouse matters. Malachi 2:16 declares, “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
Anger and violence is sin before God and couples need to deal with anger before they get married. Marriage does not cure anything, you get in with all your unresolved problems including anger.
People enter marriage not knowing it is a battle but again you are not fighting your spouse, you are on the same side fighting a common enemy. Mathew 19:10. The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
In marriage no one wins, you both win or lose. We thank God for marriage, a wonderful institution He created. He does not leave us to fight alone, He is present to help us. Bring your circumstances to him.
6. Building godly character– 2 Cor 12: 20-21. For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.
Building godly character involves developing a set of virtues and qualities that reflect the nature of God. Repentance and forgiveness are some steps you can take to build godly character. Study and meditate on the word of God together .
The Bible contains countless examples of godly character and teachings on how to live a godly life. Cultivate humility: Humility is a key aspect of godly character. It involves recognizing your limitations and weaknesses and submitting to God’s will. Show love and kindness. Godly character is characterized by love and kindness towards your spouse. As you show love and kindness, you reflect God’s nature and build godly character.
Remember that building godly character is a lifelong process, and it requires daily effort and commitment. But as you seek to become more like God, He will empower you to live a life that honors Him and reflects His character.
7. Surrender to the Holy Spirit– Mathew 7:24- Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it, is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.
Surrendering to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to guide you with wisdom involves acknowledging our need for guidance.
The first step to surrendering to the Holy Spirit is to acknowledge that we need His guidance and wisdom. We must recognize that we cannot navigate the marriage life on our own and need the Holy Spirit’s help. Pray and ask for guidance. Once we acknowledge our need for guidance, we can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead us. We can ask for wisdom in specific areas of our lives or for general guidance. Obey His leading-this may involve taking specific actions, making changes in our lives, or simply trusting in His guidance. Cultivate a relationship with the Holy Spirit by spending time in prayer, reading the Bible, and seeking His presence.
The more we cultivate this relationship, the more we will learn to recognize His voice, follow His guidance and trust His wisdom.
The Holy Spirit’s wisdom may not always align with our own understanding or desires, but we must trust in His guidance and believe that He knows what is best for us. Remember, surrendering to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to guide us with wisdom is a daily choice. As we seek to follow His leading, He will empower us to live a life that honors God and reflects His love to others.
8. Unity in spiritual warfare – Deuteronomy 32:30-How could one have chased a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, except their Rock had sold them, and the Lord had delivered them up?
Marriage involves two coming together and fighting on the same side. When two people come together to fight on the same side, they can share the burden of their labor and encourage each other along the way. When one person falls, the other can lift them up and help them continue on. Together, they can defend themselves against challenges and overcome obstacles that may be insurmountable for one person alone.
We need companionship and support to thrive and overcome the challenges that come our way. When two come together to fight on the same side, they become stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to face whatever life throws their way.
9. Restoration of cursed generational foundations -Isaiah 58:12–Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings
The fact that God wants to restore cursed generational foundations through godly marriages cannot be overemphasized. It will require effort and commitment to co-labour with Him to break the curse and create a new, healthy foundation for future generations, a new marriage not founded on idolatrous and adulterous foundations.
Evil Spirits to kick out of marriage
- Sexual immorality(Adultery, perversions-unnatural sex-oral, anal sex)
- Lying and deception(dishonesty)
- No fear of God
- Hardness of heart
- Divorce and separation
- Mind control( Jezebel, Ahab, Witchcraft)